During my career in Content Writing, I’ve experienced painful lies, brutal breakups, and, of course, betrayal in relationships. This story may feel painful to read. What truly gets to me is When challenged about their actions, what the cheater says or doesn’t say.

How I Got Cheated By A Scumbag

He stayed in my flat for a few days because it was easier for him to get to work during the holidays. He took his laptop with him, and he said I could use it because mine got damaged at that time.

The fool left several open conversations on the messaging app that was popular at the time. He didn’t log out, thus the notifications continued to appear. We had a huge disagreement a few months prior, and I specifically asked him whether he had ever cheated. My dumbass believed him when he said no.

That day, I discovered he had cheated on me with many individuals. I was enraged, but not shocked. “So I assumed when I asked if you were cheating? you lied, huh” Because I don’t think I was thinking properly, I told him over the phone at work. He freaked me out. (He) began crying and begged pardon, saying things like “I love you” and “It was a mistake.” I encouraged him to calm down and read some of the messages to him.

I remained quiet when he arrived, but I was as enraged as I could be. Then he tried to deceive me by claiming that the discussions were from before we even met.

Idiot, I eventually forgave him a few months later since I didn’t know what else to do. Anyway. He ended our relationship three months later because, in his words, “I want to expand my horizons and see where it leads me.”

What This Betrayal Taught Me

I don’t think I am unique. We’ve all been betrayed at some point in our lives, but it’s possible that what I’ve learned from it is what sets me distinct. I’m honored to share the things that betrayal has taught me with you:

Taking Responsibility Of My Life

I’ve come to realize that I am solely accountable for everything that occurs in my life. Accepting this was difficult for me. It could be for you as well, but the sooner you realize what it is, the sooner you can begin to repair your heart.

Everything we experience, both good and negative, is co-created by us, I’ve learned. As creators, we are entirely responsible for every event, action, and circumstance that occurs in our lives.

I’ve discovered that the actions, decisions, and choices we make have a consequence that leads us to everything we encounter. We are being forced by no one to do anything.

Our deepest sorrows are our greatest blessings

I’ve discovered that we create the ideal environment for individuals to come into our lives to love, hurt, teach, and help us progress.

I’ve discovered that, like certain pebbles, some unpleasant experiences can also be blessings in disguise. It takes suffering, loss, disappointment, and heartbreak for us to learn, transform, and evolve, just as it takes great temperatures and pressure beneath the ground for these rocks to transform into the beautiful diamonds that they are.

You Can’t Change Anyone

Even all the love in the world would not have been enough to change this individual, I’ve learned. You may believe that your love will save and convert them into the person you require. Have faith in me. It’s not possible. “People can’t change people unless they want to change,” my smart daughter says. Only that individual can make changes, and for changes to occur, awareness and a willingness to change must be present.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may never know why this individual acted the way he did, and that’s fine with me. Sometimes things are just the way they are. The person you want the most isn’t always the person you’re best off without.

Changing The Stories We Believe

I’ve realized that the things I used to demand from others — happiness, respect, fulfillment, validation, and love – can’t be expected from anybody else.

Nobody can be held responsible for my happiness, I’ve learned. When I show up for life, the more total I am, the more likely I am to attract someone who is equally joyful, whole, and evolved.

I’ve discovered that we live in a reflecting reality and that to attract our perfect relationship, we must first become everything we desire in our partner.

No one can betray you until you betray yourself first

When you work at a low vibration, you leave yourself vulnerable to a field of low frequencies, I’ve discovered. Because energies that vibrate at different frequencies reject each other, there would not have been an opportunity for this individual to enter my life, or at least stay in it for as long as he did, if I had been in a high vibrational condition.

I’ve learned that if you have to put any of your essential principles on the line to be with someone, you’re already betraying yourself. Any connection that demands you to change or compromise any aspect of yourself is not conscious, loving, or responsible.

People can only love you to the extent that they are capable of loving themselves

To feel true love, I’ve realized that one must love without attachment. Nobody is my property.

People will be with me for as long as it is in their soul contract to be with me, I’ve discovered. If things and people resonate with me, they will stay in my life no matter what obstacles or challenges arise. They weren’t meant to be for me if they depart.

I’ve discovered that I don’t have to always be the one to give without receiving. Without my having to ask for it, the appropriate person who will love me will want to give and exhibit love.